Les (luloubelle) wrote in survivedsuicide,
Les
luloubelle
survivedsuicide

Tuesday

Tuesdays are the hardest because that's the day he did it. I replay the details over and over in my mind... if only I would have called him that day. I saw him the Sunday before... I wish I would have hugged him more, kissed him more, rubbed his fuzzy beard one more time. It was a short visit, and I told him I'd be back up the next Sunday for lunch. I told him I wanted him to come down for Father's Day so we could take a canoe trip together. He said, "We'll see." I wonder if he knew then it would be the last time I'd see him alive.

The only person he talked to the day he died was my cousin. It was a 3 minute incoming call from her where they apparently argued, although she denies talking to him. She has bankrupted the family with her selfishness, yet the family wants to sue Dad's estate and try to take our house to keep the business going. They don't care about us, all they care about is money. Now that Dad isn't here to give them whatever they want, they think they can just take it from us. I didn't just lose my father 7 weeks ago, I lost an entire family.

Thank you to everyone who has welcomed me.
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